Saddle Up!

Well boys and girls it's that time again, we are but a mere four days and 15 some odd hours away from what we all have been waiting for...REAL sports. For the first time since I can remember, the Metallic Trousers will be heading way out west for the season's inauguration with the Cowpokes from Murkywater. The hype surrounding this game is moreso than that of any season opener since going to Clemson to open the 2003 campaign. Not to say that facing the 'Pokes in 2007 wasn't highly anticipated, but two years ago, the visiting team hadn't established themselves as they have in the last year plus, and they certainly didn't have the potency they now posess on offense.

Keeping this offensive unit contained is quite a tall order for any defensive coordinator, but, with the recent success of DC WM (textual sarcasm), it will certainly prove to be a monumental task. The 'Boys have three remarkable weapons the opposition will have to key in on: dual threat QB Zac Robinson who lead an offense that averaged nearly 41 points and 490 YPG last season, WR Dez Bryant who racked up 1,480 yards in snatches in '08 (and also returns kicks on ST), and the mighty mouse that is Kendall Hunter at RB, a 5'8" brick (Thomas Brown anyone?), who scatted around on the ground for an impressive 1,555 yards last season. Those three, combined with an experienced offensive line, and a very thoughtful OC who really knows how to spread D's, we will undoubtedly have our hands full.

Defensively, the 'Pokes have been as equally impressive as our group of late. Last year alone they managed to finish a reprehensible 93rd of 119 major-college programs in total defense, allowing a scant 405 YPG to the opposition. Speaking matter-of-factly, scoring shouldn't come at a premium, and we should be able to hang our fair share of scores on a pretty lackluster eleven.


Our offensive unit will be led on the field by the Big Red Cox for his first meaningful appearance since a heroic effort against Colorado a few years back. He has the support of his teammates, and that of the fan base, so let's just hope support will translate into results. He won't be without help up front, as we will be fielding what could most likely be our best group of big uglies since the 2002 season. Returning plenty of experience on the line could make Red look like a miniature version of Staff if he can keep his cool in the backfield, and having number 8 on the outside certainly doesn't hurt. Speaking of, Greenie is coming off what many considered one of the best Frosh performances by an SEC receiver in quite some time, and that will assuredly draw him attention in two's for the better part of the season. While his numbers may not equal those of the season past, his success will undoubtedly open the door of opportunity for others such as talented true Marlon Brown to emerge as playmakers. Right now it looks as though Caleb won't be making the trip west, and Richy Sam will be getting the primary touches from the backfield. The youngster has put on about seven pounds of muscle this offseason, coming into the year at a stout 225, weight that could help carry the young'n through the fourth quarter.

Defensively speaking...honestly...who the hell knows? So long as WM is the DC (or co-DC as it is this year), can we really expect anything but mediocrity? The return of Owens on the line and Rennie in the middle certainly won't hurt, but then again, personnel has never been the problem, it's been the scheme. Hopefully, the numbers will improve enough to hold opposing O's to less than 30 points for the majority of games this season (something that HASN'T happened 11 times in the WM era).


So, where does that leave us? In a game exhibiting two offensive defenses, will either side be able to halt the opposition? I doubt it. The two overmatched defensive units will assuredly allow their share of scores, and I can't see either coming up with enough stops to keep this game below four endzone celebrations for each side. No, in this game, a game featuring two lackluster D's and (hopefully) two above average O's, I'm saying it comes down to special teams. Which side can manage points OUT of the endzone (assuming there actually is a hold at some point)? I say six points from the kicking game, excluding extra points, and Mr. Walsh (you heard it here first) puts us over the top.

Prediction: UGA 41 OSU 35

GO DAWGS!!!


***As a side note, I just read on ESPN.com that the only returning starter in OSU's secondary, Perrish Cox, was arrested last week for driving with a suspended license. This could turn out to impact the game significantly if Cox is indeed suspended for the opener, as he would have been the defender in charge of covering A.J. Green. I will keep an eye out for what's to come of the situation and post as soon as I hear anything more.

The Best of the Rest...

Alrighty then folks. After a well-needed relaxed weekend, I'll finish up with that much anticipated, post by-week schedule breakdown, all from a completely non-biased point of view.

As I continue to search for an article I read last week about exactly how and why our boys will be winning this year's White Trash Bash a.k.a. the Cocktail Party, all I have to say is: Tim Tebow. Everyone knows, including the big man upstairs, that he is the second-coming and therefore he cannot and will not be beat (unless of course the name of your school can be spelled with a crooked letter crooked letter I, humpback humpback I). Therefore, I will automatically chalk that one up to the L column and go about my day, hoping (I don't believe praying would do any good in this particular case) for an unexpected outcome.

Following what will assuredly be a good 'ole fashioned Holy ass whipping, we welcome the mighty powerhouse that is the Tennessee Tech Golden Eagles to our humble home surroundings. Need I say more? It would take nothing short of a Wolverinian sized egg to be laid (see App. State), for anything other than the expected to happen. On the upside to a game of this caliber, maybe we'll get a chance to take our first good look at someone other than Joe Cox, a mobile Frosh perhaps?

We follow our second off week, excuse me, Tennessee Tech, with the rebuilding yet always dangerous War Tigers of the Quaintest Little Shithole on the Plains, or whatever the hell they call that place. Gene Chizik inherits a pretty lackluster bunch of chumps for his first real foray into head coaching (yes, if your mascot is a Cyclone, you're not a real team). All of the sudden Tommy Tuberville is looking like Bear Bryant.


For the last match-up of the year between the Privets, we welcome our favorite 'shine runners from the state known more for it's basketball, horses, and inability of family trees to bifurcate than for it's football. The 'Cats, fresh off a solid year that ended with a bowl victory, will certainly be looking to build upon Rich Brooks' success in recent years. Again, our boys should be heavy favorites and should take care of business, but be sure to keep BOTH eyes on these boys and not already have one on the Bees, or they could definitely sneak up and take a bite out of our asses.

After wrapping up at home, we meander our behinds down 316 to our annual season ending romp with our nerdy neighbors in the ATL. Now, come game time I will have an extensive write up on this particular brand of moron that resides at Bobby Dodd, as I have been fuming over it for the better part of 8 months now. If you want to fume as well, just have a look at the stupidity that continues to run rampant through the AJC's website and blogs. As for now, I'll just say we should win the game, if for no other reason, because it's on the road, and we have a better winning percentage on the road under CMR than we do at home.

So as of August 31st, and without getting into too much detail, I have us rounding out the year with CMR and the Beasts in Silver Britches "backing" their way into another 10 win season, going down to the Teabag in Jax and either the Bayou Bitches or the Cowboys on opening day. But, as mentioned, the Cowboys may get all they can handle, and I believe that one is certainly within our grasp. LSU and Okey are my toss-ups, and I believe either game could go either way, but I like our chances at home with time to prepare more-so than going on the road to a very hostile environment with a completely untested backfield the first game of the year. Keep your fingers crossed and your flasks full because both will likely be needed.

I'll start on the Cowboys breakdown tomorrow, so check back by Tuesday for my analysis and predictions, hopefully complete with Accuscore if they're up and running in time. WOOOWOOO!!

It's That Time Again...

After catching the tail end of the Braves game that they just so happened to pull out, it made me realize just how much I do in fact long for college football. So let all the football debauchery begin, from the perennial over-rating of those PAC-1o "powerhouses" to the (now annual) preseason Tim Tebow media blow-jobs. Indeed, there is much to discuss this go 'round, and it's a tall chore for anyone to decide where to begin, so, why not start it out right here at home with our beloved Silver Britches and the national hatred they've come to know and love.

To begin, an excerpt from one of my favorite articles of the preseason:

"Georgia will battle the Cowboys with plenty of energy for four quarters, but that game will likely end in defeat, setting the stage for a disappointing season. Put simply, the Bulldogs will be a second tier SEC squad in 2009." -- Douchebag from LA

Just to be sure I have this straight, a preseason number 13 ranking in both major polls, with most pundits in the know-how predicting another 10 win season and New Years Day bowl now makes you "second tier"? Have a look at the following:

"Are the Rebels as good as Florida? No, but no one is. Still, expect Ole Miss to finish near the top of the SEC standings." -- Same Douchebag from LA

Well now, it certainly seems to me that in a league destined to be decimated by the second coming of Christ and the shades wearing signal caller with the smoking hot daughter, EVERYONE should be second tier, correct? Nope, according to Mr. D-Bag and the LA times, that would just be our Dawgs.

Now, I'm no Nostradamus, and I wouldn't necessarily place a large wager on our boys making it to Pasadena come January 7th, but I don't think in any way we have a "second tier" team this season. For the last two weeks all I've been hearing is tough schedule this, tough schedule that...it's the SEC, every schedule is tough. Aside from the fact we open this year away from the Hedges and have to face a team that couldn't stop the Class A Montgomery County Eagles on defense (not that we don't have our own bit of improving to do), how's it so much different that last year? We follow that up with a home meeting from the 'Cock and his lovable band of Poultry, a game that by most accounts, we should win. We then head West for a potential trap game with the fleet-footed Bobby Petrino and the 'Hogs. Barring a 2006 Vanderbiltian sized brain-fart we should be leaving there with our heads held high and the smell of fresh barbecue on our jerseys.

Following the pig-pickin' will be our much anticipated meeting with PAC-1o puny Arizona State. You know that matchup looked a heckuva lot better when it was scheduled four or five years ago than it does today. To follow, we get an LSU team that I'm not too sure very many people know what to expect out of this year. Will they be good?...Yes...They're LSU, they're always "good", but are they the LSU of several years ago that everyone overlooked only to be stuck from behind by Jamarcus Russel's massive talent? I guess only time will tell, but, I think with the crowd and four games to prep, we find a way to get it done at home.

Following the brawl with the Bengals, we begin our rampant run through the home of the Hillbilly, a two week road trip that we should undoubtedly return from with no less than two more victories. That leads our boys into their first by week of the season before heading to Jacksonville to do battle with His Holyness and his Disciples, which also leads me to my first break. So heading in to what will most certainly be a reality check, I have our boys showing up sporting a paltry 7-1 record with LSU and Okey State being my toss ups. Check back in later in the week for the rest of the season outlook and a more in depth take on the Boys from Oklahoma (not the ones Ragweed sang about), complete with Accuscore projections.