As I continue to search for an article I read last week about exactly how and why our boys will be winning this year's White Trash Bash a.k.a. the Cocktail Party, all I have to say is: Tim Tebow. Everyone knows, including the big man upstairs, that he is the second-coming and therefore he cannot and will not be beat (unless of course the name of your school can be spelled with a crooked letter crooked letter I, humpback humpback I). Therefore, I will automatically chalk that one up to the L column and go about my day, hoping (I don't believe praying would do any good in this particular case) for an unexpected outcome.
Following what will assuredly be a good 'ole fashioned Holy ass whipping, we welcome the mighty powerhouse that is the Tennessee Tech Golden Eagles to our humble home surroundings. Need I say more? It would take nothing short of a Wolverinian sized egg to be laid (see App. State), for anything other than the expected to happen. On the upside to a game of this caliber, maybe we'll get a chance to take our first good look at someone other than Joe Cox, a mobile Frosh perhaps?
We follow our second off week, excuse me, Tennessee Tech, with the rebuilding yet always dangerous War Tigers of the Quaintest Little Shithole on the Plains, or whatever the hell they call that place. Gene Chizik inherits a pretty lackluster bunch of chumps for his first real foray into head coaching (yes, if your mascot is a Cyclone, you're not a real team). All of the sudden Tommy Tuberville is looking like Bear Bryant.
For the last match-up of the year between the Privets, we welcome our favorite 'shine runners from the state known more for it's basketball, horses, and inability of family trees to bifurcate than for it's football. The 'Cats, fresh off a solid year that ended with a bowl victory, will certainly be looking to build upon Rich Brooks' success in recent years. Again, our boys should be heavy favorites and should take care of business, but be sure to keep BOTH eyes on these boys and not already have one on the Bees, or they could definitely sneak up and take a bite out of our asses.
After wrapping up at home, we meander our behinds down 316 to our annual season ending romp with our nerdy neighbors in the ATL. Now, come game time I will have an extensive write up on this particular brand of moron that resides at Bobby Dodd, as I have been fuming over it for the better part of 8 months now. If you want to fume as well, just have a look at the stupidity that continues to run rampant through the AJC's website and blogs. As for now, I'll just say we should win the game, if for no other reason, because it's on the road, and we have a better winning percentage on the road under CMR than we do at home.
So as of August 31st, and without getting into too much detail, I have us rounding out the year with CMR and the Beasts in Silver Britches "backing" their way into another 10 win season, going down to the Teabag in Jax and either the Bayou Bitches or the Cowboys on opening day. But, as mentioned, the Cowboys may get all they can handle, and I believe that one is certainly within our grasp. LSU and Okey are my toss-ups, and I believe either game could go either way, but I like our chances at home with time to prepare more-so than going on the road to a very hostile environment with a completely untested backfield the first game of the year. Keep your fingers crossed and your flasks full because both will likely be needed.
I'll start on the Cowboys breakdown tomorrow, so check back by Tuesday for my analysis and predictions, hopefully complete with Accuscore if they're up and running in time. WOOOWOOO!!
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